Don’t Admit Anything

This is something Becky says often, usually after a pause.

People think honesty means saying everything they know.
That is not what honesty means.

If you did something wrong, do not make it easier for the situation to grow legs.

Do not lie. Becky is very clear about that.
But do not explain either.
And for heaven’s sake, do not write anything down.

Silence is not dishonesty.
Silence is knowing when the moment has not earned your words.

Becky has watched people confess themselves into messes no one asked them to enter.
They wanted to be fair.
They wanted to be clear.
They wanted to feel relieved.

Relief is temporary. Consequences are not.

Being careful is not being sneaky.
It is understanding that not everyone needs the full version of the story.

If someone already knows what happened, your admission adds nothing.
If they don’t, you have just educated them.

Becky believes in letting time do its work.
Time forgets many things if you don’t keep reminding it.

Say what must be said.
Leave the rest alone.

Most problems shrink when you stop giving them attention.